Whenever I waver even slightly in my determination to help women break the cycle of losing their children, I hear yet another woman’s story that convinces me (and still astonishes me after all the years of providing care for addicted women), and hopefully will convince you too, that this is a problem that effects us all and needs solutions.
“Cynthia” is a 29 y/o with a history of cocaine abuse and is now in treatment again. She has had 11 pregnancies and 7 children. They range in ages from 14 years old to 6 months old, with 1 set of twins that are 6 years old. Two of her children are 10 years old because they were born 9 months apart. None of the 5-6 fathers are involved. Her mother has custody of her children, and she is planning on possibly letting her sister-in-law adopt her 6-month old baby. She doesn’t want another pregnancy “right now”.
Fortunately, she now has Nexplanon, the hormonal implant that provides effective birth control for 3 years, inserted after her last baby was born. There are many, many stories just like “Cynthia’s, and many mothers grieving the loss of their children, and many children attempting to cope and understand, and suffering the consequences of inconsistent attachment. I can’t help but look back at “Cynthia’s” history, and think, if only 10 years ago, or even 5 years, she had chosen to obtain a long acting contraceptive, she may have been able to provide care for at least some of her children, and spaced them so that her failure to be able to parent them wasn’t inevitable. Even in the best situation, without addiction involved, parenting is challenging with that many children.
